Birthday Mixed Six-Pack. 10/10/09

Aren't they beautiful?

To me, a mixed six-pack of beer is like Christmas. But in liquid form. Refrigerated liquid Christmas. Without Santa or Jesus. And the aftermath is several trips to the little boys room and a possible headache the next day instead of mounds of wrapping paper and debt... Ok, so maybe they're really not like Christmas, but they do make for a nice evening. I was lucky enough to have such an evening on my most recent birthday. As it was one night with six different beers, I thought it would make for a decent first blog.

Before I begin with my thoughts on the beer, I feel compelled to provide a bit of pertinent background. A certain Paul will be adding to this blog in the near future, whether he's aware of this or not. This particular Paul came as part of the delightful "accessory bundle" I acquired when I first met the wonderful woman who is now my wife. Many a weekend found Paul and I consuming, brewing, or bottling beer. Unfortunately this stopped short when he and his family were inexplicably sucked towards Mexico. But, just like in Jurassic Park, "life found a way," and a new Paul appeared in the form of a crazy-haired grad student from Tennessee. New Paul is certainly not Paul Classic, but New Paul lives about 1800 miles closer than Original Paul, and, as luck would have it, he also enjoys a good brew. So, until my wife and I find ourselves deep in the ass of Texas visiting Paul 1.0, we'll enjoy the southern oddity (and excellent Walken impression) of other Paul. It is this Paul who presented me with the birthday six-pack.

Though New Paul seems to believe that the ideal beer should repel all light and have a visible layer of pureed hops, he actually chose six pretty damn tasty beverages! In the spirit of full disclosure I should say that all but the Young's Double Chocolate Stout were consumed in relatively quick succesion that night, and I wasn't aware at the time that I would be writing this review. Needless to say, I'm sure my recollection of some of the subtle nuances present in each beer have been lost to inebriation or time. Oh well, here goes anyway...

Grozet Gooseberry & Wheat Ale
Craigmill Brewery, Scotland. 5.0%

We had a Gooseberry bush in my backyard growing up and I remember eating them occasionally. Not because they were good, but because they were tart and weird and I was a kid and did stupid kid things. I always assumed Gooseberrys were one of those fruits that served no real purpose other than to be eaten on a dare. Kind of like rhubarb, but without the pie option. But in this beer, they really add a nice touch! Not overly fruity, they give a strange, crisp, tart sweetness that compliments the subtle wheat flavour very well. Gooseberrys have what I would almost call a "plasticy" edge to their tartness, which sounds pretty awful I admit, but with the smoothness of the wheat, and a hint of faint spice, it all blends together nicely. A quite smooth, crisp, lighter beer that I would imagine would be great on a hot summer day. I would definitely drink it again.

Wexford Irish Cream Ale
Morland Brewery, England. 5.0%

The first thing I noticed about this beer was that it had one of those nifty little nitrogen widgets inside. I think those things are wicked cool! And, as I have no understanding as to how they work scientifically, I assume they are powered by some kind of Jesus magic. Regardless, when I poured this beer, I was amazed at just how long it took to settle. I was like my own little lava lamp. An alcoholic lava lamp that I could drink. When it finally settled, it left a thick, creamy head that lasted until I'd drained the glass. That was probably my favourite part. The beer itself was a nice amber colour, and tasted "darker" than it looked. It felt rather thick as you drank it, presumably due to the dense foam and overall creaminess. The flavour was fairly malty, with a slight bitter, metallic twang that I felt detracted from the smoothness of the brew. I'd say it's a decent beer; I'd happily drink it again if one was offered to me, but I doubt I'll be buying one anytime soon.

Smithwick's Irish Ale
Guiness Ltd, Ireland. 4.5%

The first time I tried Smithwick's it was St. Patrick's day a few years back with Paul and my father-in-law. I'd finished a Guiness just before and was being told crazy Navy tales from a man who I realized had been a helluva lot more wild than he ever let on. So, as a follow-up to Guiness, I remembered Smithwick's as being quite light, and strangely associated it with images of Thai women of ill-repute... Taken by itself, it's not what I'd call a dark beer, but not nearly as light as I had recollected. It is incredibly smooth, and has a nice, full flavour. Nothing overpowering, a good mix of earthy malt and subtle hops. Crisp and faintly creamy, it's definitely what I'd call balanced. A good spring or early fall beer, when the days start with a morning chill, but warm up in the afternoon. I guess there is something to be said about the Irish knowing their beer.

At this point in the night I was three beers in and feeling fine. One of the unforseen side effects I'd noticed after beating Angry Miserable Bastard Syndrome (AMBS) is that I've become a bit of a lightweight. There was a time, when my AMBS was at its peak, that I would regularly drink what most would consider ungodly amounts of vodka before I felt any effects. These binge nights usually ended with me passed out in a pool of my own sick. Nowadays, as a happy man, I can feel my cheeks begin to flush after a single beer, or even half a homebrew. That isn't to say that I was incoherent at this point in the night, but I was securely in the realm of the "pleasantly goofy."

The Famous Taddy Porter
Samuel Smith's Tadcaster, England. 5.0%

I normally shy away from dark beers. That isn't to say I don't enjoy them occasionally, but many of the dark beers I've had are a bit too harsh and overpowering for my sophisticated (yet manly) palate. This porter bordered on blackness, but was surprisingly smooth and tasty. It had a nice depth, with a roasted flavour that had elements of chocolate and coffee, but without really tasting like either. It was slightly creamy without the heaviness that comes with some dark brew. Nothing harsh about it, though there was still some of the edge of hops. A well-rounded, deep beer. One of, if not the, best dark beers I've ever had.

Alba Scots Pine Ale
Craigmill Brewery, Scotland. 7.5%

Only just now, as I'm typing this up, did I realize that the Gooseberry and Pine ales were made by the same brewery. I'm not surprised as both were crisp, smooth, and pleasantly odd. I don't know historically who was the first to toss a pine bough into some brew and hope for the best, but I for one applaud that individual's lunacy. It works, and it works quite well. It is an interesting flavour, definitely pine-y, with even a bit of floral sap, but in a very sweet, fresh, brisk, natural sort of way. A hint of spice compliments the sharpness of the spruce and pine without becoming harsh. At 7.5% it was the most potent, but the extra alcohol added warmth rather than the medicinal bite some strong beers seem to have. With so many strong elements it is surprising just how smooth and drinkable this beer was. Of all the brews of the evening, I believe this is the one you'd need to experience first hand to appreciate. This was my wife's favourite of the whole lot, and, as is evident by the fact she married me, she has impeccable taste.

Young's Luxury Double Chocolate Stout
Wells & Young's Ltd, England. 5.2%

The final brew of my birthday six-pack I actually drank the following night. As an old man, I didn't want to push myself past the goofy stage into that of Nausea and falling down. Also, I had tasted this beer once before, I knew it to be quite intense, and was fairly certain it would've given me an unpleasant ass-kicking. As it was, the next evening I was able to enjoy it with a clear head. They're not kidding about the name of this bad boy. It is a stout, chocolately brew; doubled. In fact, I think I would've enjoyed it much more had it come in a 8oz wuss-sized can (with the same fancy magic nitro-widget of course.) By the end of my full glass, even as the only beer of the night, it still kicked my ass. Not by getting me drunk mind you, but because this is one dense, thick, incredibly rich beer. As soon as I opened the can I could smell chocolate. I've never tasted a beer with even remotely the same level of chocolate flavour. In addition to the chocolate, the roasted malt flavour gave it some fairly prominent notes of coffee. As more of a dessert beer, it had a sweetness, but the depth of the dark malt never allowed it to become too sweet. This is the beer equivalent of an ultra-rich, almost black-looking slice of chocolate cake. If someone else is eating it, it smells and looks awesome, and by god you at least gotta have a taste. But, at the same time, you're glad it's not on your plate because eating the whole slice might damn near kill you.

So there it is, the first of possibly many beer reviews. Hopefully the next will include a few more glamour shots of the beers themselves. It seems I was a bit too busy drinking them to take photos this time. My bad. Many thanks to Tennessee-Walken-New-Paul for the beers featured. Cheers!